Great Quotes.........

###All great quotes.......how great, how great.....###


* She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.

* Most fools think they are only ignorant.

* The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits .

* I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.

* By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.

* It's a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can't eat for eight hours; he can't drink for eight hours; he can't make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.

* Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.

* The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.'

* Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

* I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.

* I once made love to a female clown, and she twisted my penis into a poodle.

* I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.


And my personal favourites..................


* Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

* I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my clients to go swimming.